"Right At Your Door" - - Beta Radiation

"Right At Your Door" is an interesting movie as in it is realistic and frightening until it isn't.

Let me explain.

I slept through 9/11. My alarm clock went off but I didn't wake up. The news reports filtered into my dreams though. I dreamt I was in a burning skyscraper and then a helicopter picked me up on the roof. As the helicopter flew away I could see the Pentagon burning in the distance. By the time I actually did wake up, m alarm clock had either shut itself off or I clicked it off in my sleep.

"Don't Deliver Us From Evil" - - The Downward Spiral

"Don't Deliver Us From Evil" doesn't have a trailer as far as I could tell but the above video sums it up: This is the story of two girls on a random warpath of destruction during an otherwise lazy summer.

Anne and Lore are two 8th graders who have decided that sin is the greatest thrill one can experience. As students at a local Catholic school, they play the part as good students but spy on their teachers, steal vestments, and pocket communion wafers instead of eating them. Their goal is to become "brides of Satan."

Everything they do is about sowing seeds of chaos. It is never clear if they truly believe that Satan is some sort of god to them, or that they just choose him as an outlet of total rebellion against their church, but it doesn't matter. For Anne and Lore, anything goes and motive seems thought up after the crime.

Anne is the dominant of the two and Lore is her loyal follower. Their parents are aloof and unaware of the warning sings the children are showing. Anne tortures a cat twice in front of her parents with little reaction. The kids become bolder: they rat out a nun for being a lesbian, they set fire to a neighbors' hay stockpile, and they kill the mentally disabled groundskeeper's prized bird collection
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"We kill them one at a time," Anne tells Lore.

"Why?"

"So he suffers more. If well kill them all now, he'll have a bad time once then get over it."

"Zombie Warz: Falls The Shadow" - - What If You Filmed A Zombie Movie . . .

And no zombies showed up?

It's hard to figure out where to start this review because there are so many odd things in play here. But the fact that it is called "Zombie Warz" but there are maybe only ten zombies in the whole film is probably a good place to begin.

It's not just that there are no zombies seen. I can understand that some movies don't have the budget for huge waves of undead hordes. The zombie movie "Ashes" doesn't feature any zombies until the very end, but it is still a zombie movie because throughout the film what keeps the plot moving is the virus. It affects the characters interactions with each other and how they react to the world.

But in "Zombie Warz," the characters never really talk about zombies. It's almost like a subplot if even that. The movie could have been about the world after a pandemic, or an economic collapse, and it would have been the same narrative. It feels like the zombies were just added in as a marketing gimmick.

More proof of this is the fact that after I watched it, I looked this film up on IMDB. Apparently, it came out in 2011 under the title "Falls The Shadow" (which really just reminds me of "Sonic The Hedgehog" more than anything). It was just recently released with the "Zombie Warz" title probably to get zombie fans like me to watch it.

Another crazy thing about this movie is it's broken. I've seen bad movies before but this movie actually has the subtitles for a completely different film.

In this scene, a black woman is being burned at the stake while a bunch of hillbillies cheer. The first half of the movie has subtitles like "Sir Beautiful, Sir Beautiful", "The Head is dead but we still have enemies like flies" and my favorite:

Yes. "We must celebrate our victory! (Disco Music)" is the best subtitle I've ever seen in a movie about rednecks trying to rebuild post-zombie apocalypse America. I have no idea how this subtitle glitch could have happened and I've looked to see if any of these quotes are from other movies but I've come up blank so far.

And since we're on the topic of rednecks, this movie wants you to know it hates racism. It really thinks racism is bad. Now, I know that's a bold statement to make. The filmmakers obviously wanted to let the world know their stance on bigots even if is risky to take such a polarizing view. The bad guy is a religious zealot based on Reverend Fred Phelps, the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church. How do I know that?

The bad guy's name is Reverend Phelps. Wow, that's some cutting edge social commentary!

We also see that the bad guys flag is not only a Confederate flag but it is also emblazoned with the swastika. Although why it is the traditional swastika and not the Nazi's inverted swastika they never explain. Maybe they're so racist the swastika spun around? Who knows? Who cares?

(The movie ends with Reverend Phelps being strangled to death with that Confederate/Swastika, or Confestika flag. You know, because in a zombie movie how else would you kill the main bad guy?)

"Zombie Warz: Falls The Shadow" is beautifully shot. The cinematography is gorgeous and I hope that the filmmakers involved do go on to make better movies. But between the lack of zombies, the overly simplistic characters, and the unheard of technical glitches, this movie is a definite pass.