Saturday, April 6, 2013

"Seed People" - - Invasion of the Plot Snatchers

"Plants are the most cunning and savage of all life forms. Seeds! Seeds . . .are travelers. Creepers, hoppers, parachuters, hitchhikers. Seeds can chase us. We are being chased by seeds that were sewn on the winds of the universe!"

So speaks the wise words of the seed expert in the movie Seed People. Because, of course, even in a small town there is always an expert who will be available to explain such things to the audience. Giant reptile eating people? Let's go ask the lizardontologist down the street. Demonic possession? Well luckily there's a creepy priest at my parish who's an expert on exorcism! Another thing you can always count on is that these experts are also crazy town pariahs.

"What? The gun, oh don't worry about that. Hey guys, mind if we talk about seeds for awhile?"

But that's what you get with movies like "Seed People," a by-the-numbers sci-fi suspense film. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but when the seeds come down in meteorites, and there is also a meteorite club called "The Fireball Club" that also operates in this town of maybe 200 people, it starts to just get ridiculous.

"Seed People" is a gorier, more action intensive version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." The seeds take over people's bodies (or eat them and assume their form it's never clear on that issue) while a few people try to stop the invasion while not sounding like paranoid lunatics. In this movie we have a strapping young geologist, a young girl, and a love interest who looks like an older version of Taylor Swift teaming up to stop the seeds.

"She wears short skirts, I wear sneakers, she's a Seed Person and I'm hiding under bleachers"

While the movie doesn't have any surprises in store (you can predict the ending about 10 minutes in) it is an enjoyable afternoon film. I'm sure when it came out kids across the country crapped their pants in movie theaters and I pity the ones who lived on farms. Once someone is taken over by a seed they can transform at will into a monster and they are constantly popping up and eating people's faces off. Jump scares abound in this film and for a kid there is nothing scarier than seeing another kid in danger.

The SFX is pure 80s which adds a charm to the film but kudos to the director and the creature design team for this team of creatures:

See that guy in the middle? He's not a puppet; he's a man in a suit. A man with no legs. I have nothing against people with no legs and if I did I think it would make me the pettiest man alive ("Look at that asshole with no legs!"), but to design an alien that REQUIRED the actor to have no legs is pretty creepy, in a good way. It appears very alien, something that we are not used to seeing, and when it moves by walking on its arms it is disturbing to say the least. Also, I love that tagline "The Root Of All Evil." Awesome.

In the end though the movie is, like I said, by-the-numbers. I'm sure a lot of you saw this is as kid and it may bring back some cool memories. It's also a cool horror movie you could show some kids to freak them out at a slumber party. For the most part though, the predictable ending and events makes this a movie best watched as a time capsule of 80's horror flicks.