"The Howling 4: The Original Nightmare" - - Just Goo It

Ever wonder what a werewolf movie would be like without werewolves? I know I haven't. But The Howling 4: The Original Nightmare was made anyways.

For the first, oh, hour and 10 minutes, there are no werewolves shown or even talked about. What is going on during that period of time then, you ask because you talk out loud to blogs. Well, there's ghosts! Because what's a werewolf movie without ghosts, right!?

Despite the fact that the main character hears howling every night, and every day walks up to someone and says "I hear an odd noise last night. I heard . . .a howling." there are NO WEREWOLVES until the last 15 minutes.

And then they are everywhere. But before the werewolves invade we are treated to one the longest, most disgusting, and most ridiculous werewolf transformation scenes filmed.




As opposed to all those realistic werewolf transformation films we saw in Health Class.

I think if, in between man and wolf, you turn into a puddle of goo, you're not a werewolf. You're a weregoo that turns INTO a werewolf! Also, do they have to go through this disgusting process every single time, or do lifelong werewolves get an EZ Pass and just shift from man to monster? If not, who cleans up the piles of goo every morning?

Anyways, once the werewolves do show up, there's about 15 minutes of running around being chased by actors with sharp teeth and pale skin but they are not vampires!

"I vant to suck your blood . . .or turn you into goo, either or."

In the end, there's a showdown in the old town bell tower where they meet this guy:

"Does anyone know how to get to Fraggle Rock?"

Oh but the Howling 4 needs more than just a grotesque looking guy, right? I mean what's a werewolf movie without a scene where a man rips his own face off?




"You were right, Janice. There are werewolves . . .just not until the last 15 minutes."

At the end of that clip, you can hear one of the women say "We must destroy them according to the legend!" So silver bullets. right?

Nope! They blow them up!

*As bad as this movie was, it was better than the last werewolf movie I watched called Night Terror. The werewolf in that also didn't show up until the end, and they killed it by hitting it with a car.

Werewolves are actually one of the scariest movie monsters but for some reason they have the highest suck ratio as far as their films go. For every 8 Howlings there's one "Dog Soldiers."




Now that is how you make a werewolf movie. And there actually are 8 Howling movies, including "The Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf"

 





















So that's why my sister's bed was always covered in goo!