Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Baconator Part 1: Rise of the Baconator!

Reviewing movies is a perilous job. There are a couple different types of people you run into during this job. You meet people who are passionate about movies and disagree with you, and then you meet total nut jobs who impersonate you and then argue with themselves online.

 
 
This is about the second type.
 

 
 
It was a normal day on the Internet Movie Database where I was responding to some criticism to my review of World War Z. I actually don't mind being critiqued. It comes with the territory of being a writer. Also, if I'm going to review a movie I should be able to take some harsh criticism myself.
 
But nothing prepares you for the batshit insanity that often lurks just under the surface of the internet. Like a dissecated corpse bubbling out of a dark swamp, OdumC aka Baconator oozed out of the depths of the Database, his pale white skin glistening with oily sweat and his demented eyes filled with the desperation you only see in life long virgins. Over the course of the next week or so, he had post after post deleted by the website itself, as well as creating secondary accounts to argue not only with me but to argue with him. He had hoped I would ally myself with one of these sock puppet accounts but like all the sweaty palmed plans of basement dwellers like the Baconator, it fell apart.
 
In the end he impersonated me and then argued with himself on other message boards. But come on, no one can impersonate me.
 
Especially someone called the Baconator.
 
So sit back, put on a pot of coffee and settle in for a good read. And remember, he's still out there so ladies, before you go to bed, leave a pair of panties out on your door knob; it is the only deterrent to keep a virgin at bay.
 
Guys, I guess you just have to leave a plate of bacon out and hope for the best.
 
NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE RETARDED
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rainbird131162

I can't say anything positive about your 'review' I'm afraid. It's a profoundly stupid exercise that conjures up the unwelcome image of some obese 12 yr old tapping out a rant on his mother's PC while under the belief that's he's being terribly clever and sophisticated. Your 'review' is like a lot of so called 'movie reviews' I see on the web these days. It's glib, childish, spiteful, it has nothing to say, displays no insight or understanding of what the film was going for much less why the story makes the choices it does. Instead of the reviewer trying to understand the movie, the movie is used as fodder for the reviewer to show off how terribly clever and smart he obviously thinks he is. There's no evidence of love or enthusiasm for movies in your piece. Only a sort of stunted, sullen spitefulness. In short, you're a fool, Jason.

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JasonOCarpenter

Well while I don't agree with you, I am glad you took the time to read my review and to give me some feedback with backing arguments. And I'm not being sarcastic.

It is always a hard line to toe when trying to write informative reviews while still being entertaining. When deciding what movie reviews to post I look at two things: In the review timely (did it just come out at the theaters or on video) or can I say something about this movie that speaks about a genre or filmmaking overall. "World War Z" fit into the first category. A timely review tends to not offer the same level of introspection that another review may get. My readers often want to know what I think about a movie right when it comes out so sometimes the lessons of why a movie succeeded or failed can get lost during the rush of deadline.

I am not apologizing for my review. I still stand by it. I think it could have been more, though, in some ways. I'm an old school journalist though and it's hard for me to go back and "fix" things even though that is something the Internet allows. For me, once it is written, it's written. Other than glaring grammatical errors I let it stand. If there is a factual error I will address it in the comments of the article.

Again, thank you for reading it and for giving your feedback.

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Baconator
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Reclaiming the city! Taking back what belongs to the living! At least until they all die of SARS.
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Ummm did you even WATCH the movie? they made it clear it was an immunization based on meningitis that was manageable and treatable. they didn't just give themselves terminal diseases to die from.

maybe you shouldn't be writing reviews if you're not going to watch or pay attention to the movie considering you missed a pretty obvious plot point either out of sloppiness or just to hate on it.
Also you keep mentioning his family getting kicked off the aircraft carrier like it was ridiculous. they made it pretty clear they needed the room for essential personnel, they were already way overloaded (the scene in the mess hall with the soldiers commenting the food tasted like jet fuel because the saline scrubbers couldn't keep up with the demand and there were too many people aboard) There was a waiting list for bunks, and they made it clear that if Jerry wasn't going to help, he and his family were non essential so buh bye. seems pretty reasonable, they'd be sent to a refugee camp, not back to an infested city. (again, wtf? were you even watching?)

I wonder how many people skipped seeing this based on your completely wrong interpretation of the meningitis immunization for camouflage?

Seriously, don't do reviews if the movie confuses you or you don't have someone on hand to explain it to you. your interpretation is beyond idiotic.

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Hiragana_Kanji

Ummm did you even WATCH the movie? they made it clear it was an immunization based on meningitis that was manageable and treatable. they didn't just give themselves terminal diseases to die from. 

That makes the movie worse, since most people already get these type of a shots for a load of things that can kill us. So no one in the first world should have been attacked .
Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong.

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Baconator

Oh J.F.C... it's an ACTIVE strain USED as an "immunization" for camouflage. fully curable and treatable.

Most immunizations don't last your entire life. children mainly get them to stave off certain things while they're most susceptible.

or do you never wonder how people who have been immunized can come down with things later in life?

it's like the short bus broke down in front of the f'ing theater.

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Hiragana_Kanji
Insulting people who poke holes in a dumb plot point that is funny. Most people in it the first world get booster shoots in high school and immunizations in for most things last at least 10 years. That college campuses should have been a safe zone.

Insults are the arguments employed by those who are in the wrong.

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Baconator

you get that when you get immunized you get trace amounts of the infection along with antibodies to fight it right? It's an artificial way to trick your body into building up antibodies to stave off diseases.
Just curious because you seem to think that getting a polio vaccination means you end up with a flaring case of polio.

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Baconator
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even dumber is how those walls were built in the first place.

Sigh

See, Gerry finds out that Israel starting building these huge wall around Jerusalem a week or two before the first zombie outbreak.
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Yet another error. they commented those walls had been in progress for decades but just recently they started pushing to get them finished and wrapped up a couple weeks before the outbreak.
this isn't something the viewer is supposed to assume, it's plainly stated in the dialogue.
At this point I have to assume the OP is just a troll because there's no way someone this tree-stump stupid would be allowed to do reviews on movies he plainly doesn't understand even when the film is nice enough to spell things out for.

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JasonOCarpenter

I appreciate that you took the time to read my review, but I have to point out that you are wrong. The wall was not built over decades.

"Trying to suss out the source of a deadly zombie pandemic, Brad Pitt’s Gerry Lane decides to travel to the Holy Land, where he finds that vigilant and maverick-minded intelligence officials got wind of the pandemic early, with enough time to try to contain the virus by building a giant wall to keep out the infected."

http://articles.latimes.com/2013/jun/21/entertainment/la-et-mn-world-war-z-israel-brad-pitt-theaters-east-20130621

The virus was the reason for the wall which was recently discovered, not decades ago.
And concerning the novel:

"According to the novel (and what is strongly hinted at in the trailer), a key occurance near the beginning of the zombie pandemic takes place in Israel. While every other nation dismisses the zombie threat as a 'non-news' item, Israel takes proactive steps with the closing of its borders to everyone except uninfected Jews and Palestinians, as the disease originating from China finally hits the Asian Subcontinent.

"The book details how the state takes steps to protect itself via the building of "The Wall", turning the nation into a literal prison state. All Israeli, non-Israeli Jews, and Palestinians and descendants of pre-1948 Palestinians who lived abroad are allowed to return to Israel to live behind this wall after being screened for the disease. Also in order to scale back on the amount of land it has to secure, the government unwillingly pull back from the West Bank and most other areas they had seized, before sealing themselves in. With the initial completion of The Wall and the sealing in of the Arabs and the Jews from the outside world becoming a world media event, mass panic on an international scale immediately flares up."

http://www.1971-reviewae.com/2012/11/world-war-z-arab-israeli-zombie-conflict.html
Both the book and the movie state that the wall is a recent development.
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Baconator

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I appreciate that you took the time to read my review, but I have to point out that you are wrong. The wall was not built over decades.
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Nope. sorry.

CIA Prisoner: They sealed off their entire country days before the undead attacked man. First to know, First to act.

Gerry: People have been building walls there for two millenia.

CIA Prisoner: Right. Yeah, but, finish all those thousands of years of work a week ago? Impeccable timing is all.

subtitles off the DVD 43:26-43:48

you could say I was wrong about decades and instead it was millenia, but that actually makes your case worse.. the wall wasn't started to deal with the outbreak. and technically, millenia are made up of decades.. so... 

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JasonOCarpenter

Gerry: People have been building walls there for two millenia.

This is a reference to the Wall of Jeroicho, the Wailing Wall, etc. These are historical walls with great meaning for the Israelites and the the citizens Palestine. The idea of the Wall in the movie allowing both Jewish people as well as Palestinians was to show that the differences between these two groups could be solved during a crisis.

They were not building the zombie wall for two millennia. Or for decades. It is stated clearly in both the book and in your above quote. "CIA Prisoner: They sealed off their entire country days before the undead attacked man. First to know, First to act." The character Jurgen Warmbrunn also states the theory of the "Tenth Man" and explains that is why the wall was built.

I understand that the subtitles may be misleading, but they are not. When looking at the historical context of the Middle East, especially in regards to the idea of Walls (which have separated these groups of people for thousands of years now being used to unite them against a common foe) this scene makes perfect sense.

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Baconator

CIA Prisoner: Right. Yeah, but, finish all those thousands of years of work a week ago? Impeccable timing is all.

I'll just leave this right here for you. it's plainly stated they finished the walls they'd been building for millenia.

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JasonOCarpenter

I advise you to look at the history of the region. There have even been several articles on the idea of a wall being used to bring people together rather than separate them.

http://arts.nationalpost.com/2013/06/25/israeli-walls-use-as-an-instrument-of-peace-in-world-war-z-sparks-questions/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/arianelange/world-war-z-israel

Both of these compare the walls that were built over thousands of years (to separate people) to the one built quickly (the anit-zombie wall.)

I would also recommend reading the book "World War Z" for more insight to help with your confusion.

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Baconator

I've read WWZ. more than once. and I have no confusion. the movie plainly states they finished the walls that were already underway.

you expect to use some guys blog and a book that barely shares anything more than the title and zombies as proof of what I've already proven with line by line dialogue from the film?

Are you doing a movie review or a book review? because what the books and blogs say don't mean squat to a movie review. what the movie says does. and I used that exact dialogue to end the argument.

thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
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JasonOCarpenter

Unfortunately, you are taking one moment in a film out of context to the history surrounding the entire region. You are completely missing the subtext. That is sad because a lot of thought went into placing the Wall in Israel rather than an another country. The whole point was a country that has been spending all these years building little walls to separate people have now, within a very, very short amount of time, built a massive wall to save ALL the people in their region.

Sometimes you need to look beneath the surface, as every other viewer who has watched this film and has at least a minimal idea of world history has done.
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Baconator

What part of "stick to the movie" is confusing? a simple fact, But they would have had NO time to build that wall from the first mention of infection to total outbreak.

So they plainly state IN THE MOVIE which you claim to be reviewing, (not the book, not some buddies blog, and not the history channel) that they completed the walls they've been working on for millenia.

You're wrong.

period.

end of story.

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JasonOCarpenter

You need to look at the subtext. How do you enjoy movies if you view them all in a bubble? Every movie has world-building, this one included. To hinge your entire argument on one line which was said during a sarcastic conversation in a movie is the height of wearing blinders.

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JasonOCarpenter

The idea of the wall in Israel is an important one. It is a symbol as much as a set piece. The wall was built in a short amount of time to bring together people who have been fighting for as long as that region has existed.

I think the biggest problem with your theory is the 10th man rule which is clearly stated in the movie.
How do you equate the 2000 year wall with the movie's conversation about Israel's "10th man" rule? Why would a 10th man be needed to say "Let's build a wall" if the wall was already built?

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Baconator

Except for the part where I'm not.

Sorry slackjaw, posted the actual lines pulled from the film itself. the source for the laughable and inaccurate "review"
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JasonOCarpenter

I really am interested in how you equate your argument with the "10th Man" theory. If you don't have an answer, that's fine, just say that. But otherwise I think I've just proven your mistake.
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Baconator

You haven't proven anything. you claimed they started the wall to deal with the outbreak, I proved the movie itself plainly says they finished the previously existing wall.

you claimed it was so ridiculous they could build a wall in that time frame, I posted the exact dialogue from the film that proves that's not the case.

and that's not even touching on all the other points about the movie you got wrong in that laughable "review"

but please, keep pretending you're right even though I even posted the exact time points from the DVD so anyone can go read or listen to the dialogue firsthand.
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JasonOCarpenter

Nice to dance around the issue. It's ok to admit you are wrong. it's not going to be the end of the world.

I recommend re-watching the whole movie before posting again.

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Baconator

Dance around what issue? you made a statement. I disproved it. sucks to be you.
end of story.
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Baconator

Following me to the MoS boards to troll told me all I needed to know about you. bye bye. I am so going to miss not being able to see you anymore.. I might just have to go into a deep dark depress... Ooops... over it already!
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Baconator

Then you're an idiot because it's a pic from the Walking Dead.

That's a TV show.

World War Z is a totally unrelated movie.

You're welcome.

dumbass.
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Baconator

Nope, there's plenty of zombie films I think suck.

but you're seriously going to call out someone for being a fan of the zombie genre on a forum for a zombie movie? I mean... has it occurred to you in any fashion... has it sank into that small pea sized brain of yours.. that most people who watch a genre film would be fans of that genre? I'm just curious because you seem really proud of yourself to have "got me" with that sick burn about being a fan of zombie films on a zombie film message board...

Dumbass isn't quite strong enough a term for what you are.
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Baconator

I think you mistake rage with laughing at your stupid ass.
I'm sure it's a mistake you make often.
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JasonOCarpenter

I'm still waiting for some sort of reply to a valid question . . .
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Baconator

Come up with a valid question then. I already proved you wrong. sorry, I can tell it hurts and isn't something you are ready to admit to. but the simple fact is, the movie disproved your utterly stupid comment about the walls being built specifically for the outbreak.

Maybe you should get over it. you were wrong. considering the entire text of your review it's not like it could even possibly be the first time.
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AlfredWhite

here is a pic of odumb... someone long ago saw fit to make an encylopedia dramatic about this 40 year old virgin

https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Odumcarlock
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Baconator

Except... I did. proved it with a direct transcription of the film explaining what your little buddy didn't understand.

Oh no!! the one trolling calls me a troll! that's a totally new and novel approach!
lulz.
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JasonOCarpenter

No way! I've never actually met someone online who had their own ED page before. Crazy.

The line says "they've been building WALLS . . ." the movie shows one big wall. Plural vs singular. You are totally missing the point of the movie. That is sad.

Please explain the 10th man theory in regards to a 2000 year old construction project please.
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Baconator

Aww did one of my fans drop by to spam that page?

What can I say. I infuriate people to the point of making bad decisions. like spending time making an ED page.. or admitting they got so mad they doxxed me to find it... 

it showed more than 1 big wall.

and why do you keep thinking I need to explain more than I did when I already burnt your entire argument about them building the walls from scratch to the ground?

you're trying to tapdance and don't realize the music stopped playing for you.

You totally missed a LOT of points in the movie as people have already pointed out dissecting your "review" now THAT is sad. not that you didn't get it, that you thought you were somehow qualified to write a review considering it's obvious you couldn't follow the movie.
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JasonOCarpenter

I just feel bad that you missed out on the allegory, and when someone explains it to you and you realize you were wrong (because, let's be honest, you know you're wrong) you refuse to admit.
You double down.

The 10th man speech, which you pretend never happened in the film, clearly explains why the wall was built, and why it was built quickly. And trying to turn "walls" into "wall" and now, back again into "walls" just shows you have a need to prove yourself right, even when the movie itself proves you wrong.
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Baconator

are you f_cking retarded? the movie proved YOU wrong 100% I posted the dialogue that did so, done and done.

you can't honestly be this stupid. it's an act right?
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etrata93-840-533053 (Baconator's SockPuppet 1)

Don't make the same mistake I did.
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JasonOCarpenter

Well, there's the sockpuppets again. Only posted on this board and MOS board to have a convo with (Baconator).

Again.

What was the name of the last one? Sino or something?

You lost, dude. You know you're wrong. I've proved myself right. Thanks for playing we have some truly, lovely prizes waiting for you in the showroom. Buh bye! :)
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Baconator

That clinches it, you're just trolling.
which is something of a relief to know that there's not someone out there as outrageously stupid as you are pretending to be.
whew.
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JasonOCarpenter

Yeah, that's why I use my real name. because I'm a troll.

I see now that I have proven you wrong. Please run along, sir. You are clogging up this message board.

Unless you want to answer my 10th man question.
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canno1 (Baconator's SockPuppet 2)

Guys, stop fighting. Its not going to solve any problems.
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JasonOCarpenter2 (Baconator's SockPuppet 3 and the one he argues with himself on other boards.)

How can I convince an obvious zombie fanboy to see what im saying? This guy is blind.
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Baconator

I posted the proof with the time stamps off the DVD. everyone can look at your argument about when they started the wall, look at the DVD and see what the movie itself says and make up their own minds.

Done here. this guys too tree stump stupid to waste another second on.
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JasonOCarpenter

Thank you for proving my review right by refusing to address the 10th man scene.
You have my permission to leave.
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Mandikins
Don't ever quit your day job to write reviews. you are wrong on so many points. it's like someone told you about the movie weeks ago and you're writing based on what you remember about what they said.
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JasonOCarpenter

Well even though you disagree, I'm glad you took the time to read my review.
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So are we back to normal?
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Baconator

Enjoy the show. he's so butthurt he's following me around the forums now crying about getting verbally curbstomped with facts.

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Yup, back to normal.
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