"Cat Shit One" - - Watershit Down

Oh "Cat Shit One," you know if any movie would bring me out of kidney stone induced retirement it would be something nonsensical like you.

"Cat Shit One" is the story of two rabbits shooting a bunch of camels in the Middle East. Iraq, presumably, maybe Afghanistan. It doesn't seem to matter. And that's the problem.

"Cat Shit One" is based on a comic book (or manga for you nerds out there) about an anthropomorphised Vietnam war. The rabbits were the US, the Viet Cong were cats, the British were rats, etc. No ninja turtles, so I never read it, but according to Wikipeida it's been an ongoing series since 1998. The Animated Series, of which there is only one episode released since 2010, updated the conflict an unnamed Middle Eastern country.

But you see, when I think of cats I don't think of Vietnamese people. The analogy doesn't quite work so it just is there. But when you portray Arabs as camels i.e. camel jockeys being a racist term, it's a little less fun and a lot more bigoted.

Why do their shirts have holes in them?
Wouldn't they just wear baggier clothes?

One of the things that bugs me with this type of animal/race juxtaposition is the "alien"visual of it all. A rabbit and a camel are completely different species. They can't procreate. (Cabbits? Ramels?) But Caucasians and Arabs can. We're all human. But literally saying "These are a different species" makes it easier to say "these are the bad people." The movie shows a camel as one of the rabbit's allies, but my question is; if a camel's relatives moved to the United States 50 years ago, would his kids be rabbits? Or are only white people rabbits? Would a Muslim rabbit turn into a camel? How many chucks could a wood chuck chuck? And would it be racist to ask him to chuck wood?

Basically this movie is two rabbits kicking the crap out of 30 plus camel terrorists. One rabbit snipes them from the distance and they crumple to the ground. The other one runs around stabbing, shooting, and rocket launching them all in the name of war porn. There's no plot, and the only character development is along the lines of "I gave you an order to retreat!" "I couldn't leave you behind!" "OK well, then drinks on me back at the bar" nonsense. As  I was watching this I realized one thing: if this movie wasn't animated, it would be lambasted as pointless macho posturing and boring to boot. But put a couple of rabbits in it and it gets it's own dedicated fan base clamoring for the next episode.

I don't know why this camel has his face covered,
you know they all look alike anyways.

Here's what is interesting about the entertainment industry in general and fan boys in particular: genre stuff is a double edge sword. Sci-Fi and fantasy shows have a tough time. For every X-Files and Game of Thrones there are literally a dozen Law And Order/CSI/NCIS shows. Sitcoms, reality shows, they all dominate the market. But it's the genre shows that have such dedicated fan bases they live on long after the show has been cancelled. Even if they are awful, like "Firefly," fans will continue to feed the subculture by buying merchandise, writing fan fiction, and attending conventions.

Let's do some examples: "My Little Pony" is a terrible cartoon about little ponies. It has a huge dedicated fan base. But let's take those exact same characters, same personalities, and same inane dialogue but strip away the animation and the fantasy aspect. What do you have?

Sweet Valley High



On the other side of the coin, years ago when I was watching two hours of "Married . . . With Children" a day, I realized 'If this show had the exact same scripts and characters, but took place on a space station, there would be conventions for this show and nerds would be naming their kids Bud and Kelly.'

More recently, I've been watching "Homicide: Life On The Streets" and realized it's a lot like "Star Trek: Deep Space 9." One has a dedicated fan base to this day and a series of novels that continue the story, and the other collects dust.

So why is this? Why does genre material have such a devout following even though it may be lacking in the quality department? Why does something like "Cat Shit One" get a pass and a fervent fan base but "The Expendables" come across as a steroid commercial for brain dead jocks?

My best explanation is, it's political. Just like a Republican feels compelled to support Republicans and Democrats feel compelled to support Democrats, nerds feel compelled to support nerd culture. Whether it is good or bad is inconsequential. It is theirs. It belongs to them and to not support it would be the same as damning it. Of course, nerd commenters are often the first to say "Ant Man isn't in The Avnengers BOYCOTT!" so it may seem like they aren't supporting it, but guess what? Those nerds still turn out in record numbers for even the worst superhero movies (I'm looking at you, Kick Ass.) and by raising a big stink they give the movie free publicity anyways. The average person doesn't know the difference between Ant Man and Aunt May, they just hear "The Avengers" over and over again and then see the movie on a theater marquee and think 'Oh, that's the movie everyone has been talking about.'

So will "Cat Shit One" get a second episode that the fans are clamouring for? Doubtful. The DVD for just the first episode cost $30 so at a dollar a minute this is more expensive than a strip club. But people will pay that much for this borefest so anything is possible.